Keep Calm

So I am told...

Tuesday is my induction date. I am scheduled for 8 am. Baby will be 38 weeks 1 day. As I have never experienced an induction or giving birth I really have no idea what to expect or how long this process will take. I am hopeful that it will not be too painful and that our baby will be healthy.

I am very excited to meet this little one and see her. I wonder at her personality. 

I am busy thinking of all the things I have yet to do before baby arrives. Likely many of these things will never happen. We went shopping to the big city on Saturday, Boxing Day, of all times when I learned on Friday that our induction was scheduled for Tuesday for last minute essentials like diapers, baby wipes etc. It's interesting bringing your hubby along on shopping trips since he questions if you really need most items. As in do you really need a diaper pail? Said diaper pail did not make it into shopping cart. (Apparently the advertising on the side of the box horrified him..."can seal up to 270 diapers"...he could not imagine storing more than one soiled diaper in the house in a pail.)  Do I need one of these ladies? I do however have 384 size 1 diapers. Thank you Costco.

Even though I was told we would be induced it snuck up on me so fast. I am going to have a baby in 2015! not 2016 as I expected. Eeek! Exciting and terrifying!!

Shopping is a big deal when your 37 weeks and five days pregnant. Just rolling out of the car takes considerable effort. I think I am 65-75% prepared for baby according to the recommended shopping list. Shopping is challenging when you live in a small town and your only options are drive 45 minutes to a larger small city or shop locally with dismal selection at Superstore, Walmart or Sears. Looking back now I feel like I have a lot of should have, would haves which is silly really. For instance I should have ordered more online earlier. Shopping online is a challenge because I like to see the item before purchase. Remember my cyber Monday purchases? I only received half my order when the shipment was divided between Canada Post and UPS. Apparently the UPS delivery could not locate my address so the items were sent back. I re contacted GAP and was told the items were no longer in stock which I do not really believe but suspect they did not want to re ship for free at the discounted price. Aargh! 

My parents will arrive Tuesday, likely by the afternoon. I am glad for this and yet thinking of all the things I should have done to prepare for guests. Again unlikely to happen.  Luckily I have stocked the fridge as I also prepared for Christmas. 

I will likely be absent from this blog for a bit recovering, and adjusting. When I return I will introduce you all to my beautiful baby! 

Wish me luck and hold me and baby in your prayers. 

36 Weeks and An Answer to Prayer

Since my last post we had an answer to prayer. In the next ultrasound we learned that the baby had turned and was no longer breach. The baby is not fully engaged yet but we are hopeful it will not flip again. Also the amount of amniotic fluid increased around the baby. And the baby has moved from the 10th percentile to the 12th. I have a number of follow up appointments tomorrow and Friday including an ultrasound, NST at the hospital, meeting with a specialist, an appointment with the diabetes doctor for my gestational diabetes and also my regular doctor appointment. We are hopeful.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement! 

Gestational Diabetes, Ultrasounds, and NST

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Here I am lying on a hospital bed clicking every time I feel the baby move with a band strapped around my belly that records the baby's heartrate. The nonstress test records the baby's movement, heartbeat, and contractions. It notes changes in heart rhythm when the baby goes from resting to moving, or during contractions if you're in labor.

How did I get here?

I drank this orange drink waited one hour, had my blood drawn and went home. I received a call two days later that I had failed the glucose test and needed to have a follow-up two hour test. In the two hour test the lab takes a sample of your blood prior, one hour in and at the two hour mark. I went home and again received the fateful call that I had failed this test also and would need to see a dietician.

So I went to see a dietician who explained I had gestational diabetes. Gestational diabetes occurs when a woman's ability to process glucose is impaired. The high blood glucose levels can lead to a large baby, immature lungs, and problems at delivery. A carefully balanced diet and/or insulin injections are generally used to manage gestational diabetes. 

Some of the factors that may put you at higher risk of having gestational diabetes include: polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), having gestational diabetes in a previous pregnancy, your age (you may be considered as higher risk if you are 30 or older), being known to have insulin resistance, previously having a large baby, or a previous unexplained stillbirth. Did you know if you are as old as me, 37, you are classified as a high risk, geriatric pregnancy. I hit three of these factors.

The dietician showed me how to check my blood sugar, and what are acceptable rates. After I met with a doctor who perscribed diabetes supplies. They are expensive! 

Around this time I was transferring doctors from Alberta to Saskatchewan so my care was also transferred to the diabetes clinic at the hospital. Here I learned I would have to take samples of blood sugar 7 times a day. Not fun! I am very thankful that gestational diabetes goes away after pregnancy although I am at risk for developing diabetes after. I really feel for individuals who have had diabetes all of their lives. It is miserable! At first I thought how can I do this. Actually I almost passed out the first time I had to prick myself because I have a low tolerance for blood. I had to put my head between my legs and I felt really faint. The nurse had to bring me a glass of ice water. Now I am an old pro at it. Well not really but it is much easier. It was really hard for me to keep my blood sugar levels on target in the mornings. Additionally I have to measure my ketones . I would wake up and my blood sugar would already be high as well as my level of ketones were difficult to control.  I really do not understand how I can go to bed with an acceptable number and wake up with high blood sugar. I was referred to a doctor who specializes in diabetes. Now I have to meet with him once a week and also take insulin three times a day. The number of needles never ends! 

I have found however that much more effective than insulin is walking. I can take insulin and not really see any change but if I go for a walk my blood sugar levels come significantly down. So I try to go for a walk once or twice a day. Thank fully the weather has been cooperating and we are experiencing very mild weather. 

Isn't 9 degrees Celcius incredible for December. I am so thankful that the weather is great for getting outside and going for a walk.

Today on my walk I met this gentleman and his falcon! We had a lovely chat.

Gestational diabetes increases the risk of having a very large baby and so I was sent for an ultrasound. 

The ultrasound was quite unlike the others I have had that are all cheery. She was rather quiet and did not make any comments then said she had to go talk to the radiologist near the end leaving me laying on the bed for quite a while. I never even got a printout of pictures like I usually get. I thought something was up. I left the clinic and was in the parking lot of Superstore to get some groceries for dinner when I received a call from my doctor asking I come into see him within half an hour. I was really worried and cried in my car because I did not know what was happening.

I still don't really know what this all means. I learned from the doctor that the ultrasound revealled not the expected large baby but a small baby. You might think this is a good thing but it is not. Intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) is a fetal weight that is below the 10th percentile for gestational age as determined through an ultrasound. This can also be called small-for gestational age (SGA) or fetal growth restriction. I went from the 50th percentile on my previous ultrasound to the 10th percentile. 

There are basically two different types of IUGR:

• Symmetric or primary IUGR is characterized by all internal organs being reduced in size. Symmetric IUGR accounts for 20% to 25% of all cases of IUGR.

• Asymmetric or secondary IUGR is characterized by the head and brain being normal in size, but the abdomen is smaller. Typically this is not evident until the third trimester.

Our baby is the second type. 

Pregnancies that have any of the following conditions may be at a greater risk for developing IUGR:

• Maternal weight of less than 100 pounds
• Poor nutrition during pregnancy
• Birth defects or chromosomal abnormalities
• Use of drugs, cigarettes, and/or alcohol
• Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH)
• Placental abnormalities
• Umbilical cord abnormalities
• Multiple pregnancy
• Gestational diabetes in the mother
• Low levels of amniotic fluid or oligohydramnios

Also I learned that the amniotic fluid around the baby had decreased. 

So that is why I am now having non stress tests for the baby every two to three days. Further the ultrasound revealed that the baby is in frank breach position and as a result I was told I would be having a c-section around week 38 or 39. 

I have been trying to drink more water as I've heard that may help to increase the amniotic fluid and my prayer warriors have been praying for me. The baby has really been moving/kicking today. I have been trying to eat more also hoping that this will help the baby to grow and increase the size of the baby to a little more than the 10th percentile. I don't know if it will help. Who but me has trouble gaining weight in pregnancy. Ironic.

I have another ultrasound on Wednesday. 

I hope and pray for my baby that it will be healthy. Today we are 35 weeks. 

32 Weeks Pregnancy Update!

Today I am 32 weeks pregnant! 

We had photographs taken on Friday by jsterkphotography 

Here is a preview sample that she posted for us. 

I am excited to see the other photos and hope to use some for Christmas cards. 

I like Jenae's style of photography.

32 Weeks: It's amazing to think that our baby will be here in eight weeks. The baby is measuring approximately 4 pounds now. Scientists have discovered that babies at this stage dream now. How amazing is that and how did they find this out I'd like to know!

Gender: So far L is still guessing what the gender is and I and everyone who knows has kept the secret.  (L wants to find out when the baby is born.)  I think he is having all the fun guessing! It is hilarious. I asked him what he thought it was going to be on Saturday and so far he thinks it is a boy. 

Total Weight Gain: I have gained 9 pounds. I am sad to say I have acquired three stretch marks. They are lowdown on the lower side of my belly. I thought I had evaded them and then one day after a shower was looking in a mirror and noticed a red line. I would have missed seeing them without the help of the mirror. Now I lather up continually with body butter cream but I think the damage is already done. 

Maternity Clothes: With only 8 weeks to go I do not foresee myself buying much of anything more. Except I foresee myself panicking around the time I have to attend L's Christmas party as there are some wives/girlfriends of the power engineers that are gorgeous and dressed to the nines! So likely I will think that I need something new to wear. I bought this really pretty black and white stripped dress at the beginning of my pregnancy but I have yet to wear it! Not a very good investment! I thought I would wear the dress during the summer and then when that never happened thought maybe for the maternity shoot but it was really cold out and windy and the dress is built more for summer. Now the pants I bought earlier with the elastic belly that goes up to just below one's bra really are painful just around the bra line/rib line. I wear them to go out or in the morning or for a few hours here and there but mostly I wear legging type pants which are very comfortable. I really think they should make maternity underware. Underware can be really uncomfortable. I tried buying a size up but really that does not help because it just means they are not wider in girth rather they just go higher up so that you are wearing underware that almost reaches to your bra. So I just wear my regular pre-pregnancy underware but low-down. 

Sleep: I sleep mostly on my left side until my hips to mid thigh hurt and then I switch it up to my right side. I love my king size Kingsdown bed when we go back to our house. I am glad to be off the double that we slept on in Regina when living in the condo. That was painful and I could only sleep on it in 3-4 hour streches. We bought a new Kingsdown queen bed for here so tonight will be a trial run for that bed here. My hands were going numb at night for the past three weeks if I did not have them stretched outright or at least down and straight. This was very uncomfortable at first since I am used to craddling my pillow in my hands or having my hands up by my chin. I think I've gotten used to sleeping like this now and largely the numb hands issue has been resolved. 

Symptoms: I am glad that there are only eight weeks left. Really I have had a good pregnancy and I have nothing to complain about as I remember all the years of infertility and just wishing to be pregnant.  But the truth is pregnancy does stretch you and is not a walk in the park. Actually a walk in the park at a fast clip is hard work because of the weight of the baby bearing down. I need to make more of an effor to exercise but have been terribly lazy as it gets colder out. I have really terrible looking bruises/ probable vericous veins on my left leg. As the uterus grows, it puts pressure on the large vein (the inferior vena cava) which in turn increases pressure in the leg veins. Hopefully as far as what I have read some of this disappear after delivery. Thankfully for the most part the heartburn of the second trimester has dissipated. I really only have pain along my rib/bottom of bra line from my tight pants and sometimes when I sit as I think that everything inside is competing for space. 

Tests: I failed my 1 hour glucose test at 30 weeks and so had to return for the 2 hour glucose test at 31 weeks. With the 2 hour glucose test you fast for 8 hours prior, then they first take your blood, after you drink this really sweet orange drink in 4 minutes or less that has 75 grams of glucose or sugar. After an hour they measure the glucose in your blood stream again and compare it against the first measurement. And after two hours they take a third sample of blood. Unfortunately I learned today that I also failed the 2 hour test and so have now been referred to a dietician. I suspected I would fail the glucose test as I really do not respond well to sugar. I try to avoid too much sugar as I feel sick if I have too much sugar. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), an endocrine disorder, that along with the other array of non-fabulous symptoms including infertility shows up as insulin resistance or impaired glucose tolerance. So Wednesday I visit a dietician. Interesting.

Upcoming: I have both the dietician and doctors appointment on Wednesday of this week. This weekend we have prenatal classes. I am nervous about giving birth so hopefully this will assay some of those unknowns. Sometimes I think a c-section would be easier and so much faster but I really need to dig deep, find some courage and tell myself I can do this. 

Life:  We have moved into a basement suite after the sweet housesitting operative fell through. The lease on our downtown condo was up for renewal and we chose to not renew in favor of finding a cheaper and better situated location. If we had known the house-sitting opportunity would fall through we would have stayed put in the downtown condo. And so we are here until our house sells the province over and our new house is built. I keep telling myself technically this is only 4 months away which in the grand scheme of things is not that long. This change has not been good for L with his sleeping needs for shift work as the upper tenant has heavy feet, noisy friends, and loud furniture that he continually adjusts. I will write a post some day about living with a spouse who has anxiety, but for now I will just say that life these days is challenging. 

A Little Ice Cream Celebration Reveal

It's cause for celebration!

This is my 100th blog post! 

Oh right your not here for that celebration. 

Your here to find out if I am having a boy or a girl!!

So the other night L came home and told me about a co-worker and the surprise party they had planned to find out if they were having a boy or girl. He thought it was a great idea that the ultrasound technician wrote what it was on a slip of paper and put it in an envelope. Then they took the envelope to a cake decorator and had a cake made up. After they planned to invite all of their friends and family over to cut into the cake and inside would tell if it was pink a girl or blue a boy. He thought this was lots of fun! Finding out from the ultrasound technician in the clinical office was not as thrilling he said. But because I had found out it was to late to plan something like that.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!

I totally had wanted to plan a party. I even had all things pinned for such a time as this. 

As you will recall L told me he didn't want to find out if we were having a boy or girl. He said their are too few surprises in life.  I wanted to find out. He said I could. Now he is pestering me trying to find out if it is a girl or boy because I found out. 

Boys! I will never understand them.

As L is not yet a loyal reader of my blog I can post it here. 

So scoop yourself a big creamy chunky scoop of icecream and celebrate with me!

It's a..........

 Girl!! 

I'm totally thrilled. 

My heart leapt and danced a little jig when the ultrasound technician told me and I tried to fight back tears of joy and concentrate on what he was saying, but a few slipped out 'cause you know.

**Please  only post comments here.  Note if you know L in real life please try to keep the secret for him and do not post comments to instagram which is linked to his phone. Or for my facebook friends please do not comment there as facebook seems to have a wide reach.

Posh Baby Wish List

I used to have boots, shoes, clothes, makeup, jewelry, furniture and home decor on my wish list; lately my wish list has been centered around the baby.

Here are some items I have my eye on:

1. Peg Pegego- Primo Viaggio 4/35 --I've looked at a lot of car seats. I think this is a top contender so far. $329.99
2. I love this Stokke-Xplory Stroller--The only drawback is the price at $1379.00 and that is the sale price. I do not think L will ever agree to a baby stroller at this price. 
3. This Mima Moon Chair is such a modern high chair. It is priced at $499.99.
4. I've seen the MamaRoo recommended in several of my instagram feeds so it made the list also. Here it is for $299.99
5. This Medela breast pump is also on my list. Here it is for $219.99

Yowzers this totals $2728.96. I guess that is why it is called a wish list. This baby business is expensive!

Embracing this Season in My Life

Blog-tember Challenge Sunday, September 13: Create a collage or inspiration/mood board for this season in your life.

The season of my life that I am in currently is one of nesting, but also of transformation and blossoming. A strange kind of nest because my home is in transition so I am learning to be content where I am. Its a season of being still, waiting, but also of planning, and preparing. Its a season of hope that I intend to embrace, enjoy and be refreshed by. I need to remind myself when still to wait before the Lord also.

Perhaps if I thought of this time in my life as an actual season it would be late-spring/summer.

The Shape of Me

Monday we had our ultrasound for babykins. I was eager to find out if the baby was a girl or boy, but alas! the little one was quite content to keep it a secret. The ultrasound technician had me move onto one side and then the next to wake him/her, suggested we go for a walk and come back and finally sighed and asked if we had any juice or candy in our pockets. The baby wouldn't have any of it and stayed curled in a ball sleeping with the occasional stretch of an arm. I should have taken my cousin Penny's advice and had a sweet cold drink prior.

I had a doctors appointment on Friday. Good news the placenta is in a good position and cervix is closed. Also good news was I have only gained one pound since my last appointment. The ultrasound did not provide enough pictures of the baby (as the baby was uncooperative according to the doctor haha) so we are to have a follow up ultrasound in one months time. Hopefully the baby will be moving more then and we can find out if indeed baby is a boy or girl. 

I just discovered decaffeinated chai tea from Tetley at the grocery store! So exciting! I've been missing my chai tea lattes from Starbucks. My waist line I'm sure hasn't. 

I just made the most amazing Coconut, Oatmeal, Raisin Cookies from my Mennonite Treasury cookbook. I'll share the recipe below. I added two ingredients to the original recipe. Can you guess which ones? 

1 cup butter

1 1/2 cups brown sugar

1 egg

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups flour

1/2 tsp. soda

1 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1 cup fine coconut

1 1/4 cups rolled oats

1 cup raisins

Directions: Cream shortening with sugar, add egg and vanilla. Sift dry ingredients. Add rolled oats, coconut and raisins. Roll into balls. Bake for 10-12 minutes in 375 degrees F oven.

Gotta love the brevity of old school recipes. 

15 Weeks

Yay! We made it to fifteen weeks! 

So far all is good. 

I went to my Hematology appointment Friday in Calgary and was given the option to as a preventative measure go on Lovenox (blood thinner) for the remainder of the pregnancy up until 6 weeks after or be vigilant, exercise, no more flying during pregnancy, and stay hydrated. If my legs start to hurt or I feel shortness of breath to go to emerg immediately and then I would have extensive testing and be on blood thinners the rest of my life. I decided on option 2. 

It was a long drive of six hours (three there and back) to Calgary to have that 15 minute consult. It was raining so hard while I drove that at one point I thought I have to slow down or I might not even make it to my appointment. I wanted to go shopping in Calgary before and after my appointment to scout out some baby finds but because of the rain I was not as confident to go scouting. And I was without GPS so had to rely on my memory. The Deerfoot Trail my friends is nervy on a Friday afternoon!!  I went to IKEA to get my walk in but never bought anything. 

I'm a little chunky as you will see in my photos above. I was really worried I would be tipping the scales. I don't know how this whole pregnancy weight gain works. I am glad to report I am still down 1.5 pounds from where I started. 

Speaking of chunk and needing to exercise I think I may have agreed to run a half marathon in November of 2016. Oh dear! 

On Wednesday of this week we have our next OBGYN appointment and gee what fun a Pap test. Not exactly thrilling. 

I've been thinking of planning a gender reveal photo session. As you will recall L is not to thrilled about finding out the gender but hey! we haven't had photos taken professionally of us for five years and what a fun way to have photos taken. Let's see if I can arrange this. I think we can find out the gender at our 18 week ultrasound appointment. 

 

12 Week Update

How far along: 12 weeks 6 days 

Gender: L doesn't want to find out until the baby is born. I of course do. I'm not sure yet how that will work out. Today I went shopping and even the Anna & Anais swaddling blankets were color coded pink and blue. Where are all the yellow, white, or green choices?  

Weight gain: My initial loss of six pounds for the first trimester is gone and now I am right back to where I started. I am hopeful to not gain too much as I am already a little hefty. 

Maternity clothes: I bought a pair of jeans, top, and dress when I was in Regina. There are no maternity stores here so even though I am getting by with what I have and an elastic hair band I thought I should make the plunge into maternity wear. Maternity wear is so expensive! I wore the jeans out to dinner on Friday. They are also pictured above. They are seriously the most comfortable!! 

Sleep: Sleep is good. I love to sleep. I generally sleep on my side but sometimes wake up and I'm almost sleeping on my stomach. Then that hurts. 

Best moment this month: Hearing the baby's heartbeat. It was 166 at my appointment earlier this week. 

Worst moment this month: Getting sick with a sinus cold & having a plugged ear for several weeks. 

Miss anything: I miss coffee. I really do. Especially in the mornings or when L is brewing some. Starbucks has lost its charm. I tried a few of the non-caffeinated options and was really not impressed.

Movement: Nothing yet. 

Cravings: Thai, Watermelon, Sugar Snap Peas

Queasy or sick: I haven't really been nauseous which was great. For the longest time however I was not excited about eating anything. It was like I lost my appetite for everything. My appetite came back about the time I decreased and finally at the start of week 12 stopped taking progesterone and estrace. I don't know if that is related or coincidence.

Looking forward to: Finding out the babies gender, decorating the nursery & deciding on a name, the fun stuff!! 

Late May Reads & Ultrasounds

READS

While we were in Cuba I brought along a number of novels to read on the beach or by the pool. I left the books in the hotel when we checked out to lighten my load and then later saw one of the hotel administrative staff walking around with them. 

• A Blade of Grass is a story of apartheid set in the land bordering South Africa and is fraught with bad turns of events for the two main characters Marit, the European landowner and Tembi a native South African. In the end Marit loses everything and Tembi gains everything but at a cost.  This was a book I had sitting on my bookshelf for years. 

• Ru I really enjoyed. It was chosen as the winner for Canada Reads this year. It is a fictionalized memoir based on Kim's past growing up in Saigon, living a life of privilege until that city's fall and as a Vietnamese refuge. I liked the unusual lyrical format for this book, a series of one and two page vignettes from her life, not in order of occurrence. This novel could easily be read in a day. 

• What Alice Forgot I devoured quite easily. It is somewhat unbelievable which was perfect as escapist literature for the beach. I can see it being made into a feel good chick flick movie. Alice wakes up after a head injury with no memory of the last 15 years. She discovers her once happy life is gone- she is now in the midst of a divorce and must decide whether to start over or fix her relationships. 

ULTRASOUNDS

Now for the ultrasound that I have buried in this post.  Everybody who looks at these photos says the same thing. What is it? What does it mean? 

I am just so happy that the baby has a heartbeat. 

I was to drink 1 litre of water beforehand between 1:45-2:00 pm last Wednesday. My appointment was not until 3:15. I was so glad they took me at 2:45. I do not think I would have lasted nor did the ultrasound technician. It was over very quick. She said that the heartbeat and sack looked good. Baby measured right on schedle at 8 weeks 2 days. She showed me the flicker on the screen and said that was the heart beat. She gave me a print out of photos. 

I have my follow up ultrasound this week on my leg for my blood clot and an appointment with a hematologist to be scheduled to find out if I have factor v Leiden. I really hope I do not. I do not like taking the blood thinner Lovenox injections. The bruises on my belly are atrocious and they hurt. 

I am still nervous about this whole pregnancy. I am counting the days until we reach the 12 week mark. I read however that one's chance of miscarriage is around 3% after hearing the heartbeat so that is good to know. I had a little bleeding again on Sunday. It really knocks me for a loop. I can't be overdoing it. 

LIFE LATELY

I am the laziest person I know of late. Today for instance I did not get out of bed until 9 then I picked strawberries from my garden and made a pancake and strawberries for breakfast by 10. After I finished folding and putting away two loads of laundry, washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen all by 11. Then I talked on the phone to my mom. My lunch consisted of reheated quinoa and chicken and watermelon. And then I wrote this blog. And now I have the whole afternoon and I don't know what to do with myself because it is too hot to go pull weeds in my garden or go for a walk. I likely will go shopping and come home and read a book. L was supposed to come home today but decided to pick up some extra shifts at work. I miss him. I haven't seen him in over a week. 

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

About three weeks ago we decided we needed a vacation. Silly me I forgot to renew my passport and it is about to expire in July which meant many of the destinations we were hankering for were no longer options. Oh Thailand... Sigh. The foodie in me really wanted to go to San Francisco but because we had a window of two weeks to travel L wanted to maximize the value. L is not sold on San Fran... how to convince him it would be fun? My passport would allow me to fly to USA, Cuba or Mexico. In the end we were both longing for beaches, sand and sun. L was keen on an all inclusive. So in a last minute internet search on selloffvacations.com we chose Santa Maria, Cuba.

I took my old fujifilm camera on vacation and remembered why I do not like this camera. It died half way through the vacation only to revive a few days before we left.

The Good:

• Beautiful beaches and lounging by the pool for two weeks straight 
• Being on vacation with my hunny 
• Our room was nice and had air conditioning for the 30 + degree Celsius temperatures daily.
• I faced my fear of snorkeling and it was fun snorkeling along the coral reef. 
• I got up close and personal with a dolphin. So amazing. 
• We had some fun adventures.
• L is over all inclusives and buffets which is a small miracle for this foodie. I really do not enjoy buffets. I'd rather eat a sprig of lettuce if it was presented as art on my plate. And tasted for a moment of heaven. 
• This was a rare vacation where I actually lost weight. 

The Bad:

• I have safe toilet syndrome. This was not a happy digestive experience. I tried extra water. Tums. Walking. My system shut down. The bathrooms rarely had functioning lights. There was a lack of toilet seats. No locks on doors. Smells like sewer gas. Women you had to pay after exiting the toilet. TP that was thinner than tissue paper.  I saw a few too many cock roaches. 
• There were way too many flies in the buffet and restaurants.  (I haven't had nausea but perhaps food aversions is similar and counts as a pregnancy symptom? Or was it just mental? I couldn't bring myself to eat most of what was sitting out in the buffet since how long with flies crawling all over it.) I was really worried about not having nutritious food for my baby but on the few occasions when I tried salads they were fermented. It was gross. At first I really liked the donuts until L discovered a worm in his and called it an animal. I almost broke a tooth biting into a rock in my bread at the alacarte. I'd recommend packing granola, trail mix, and protein bars to anyone thinking oh the food can't be so bad she's really a drama queen. You'll thank me later. 

• L got very sick on two different experiences where he couldn't even keep water down.
• We suspected they were fogging for Mosquitos and usually returned to our room before mosquito feeding time. Then one evening or say 6:30 pm much before the general feeding time we were walking along the path to our room, which has large bramble bushes on both sides, and a truck came rolling down the path and fogged us. Umm seriously?! Hoping this has no negative lasting effects. 
• I got stung by a jelly fish on my leg. Ouch. L was a gentleman and helped me out. Note that is not Cristal in the can.

The Ugly:

• I started to spot and bleed after a long day on the Catamaran. It was very scary.  We thought we were having a miscarriage and I bled off and on for several days.  I put myself on self imposed bed rest. I cried out to God and prayed. 
• On my flight home from Cuba my leg started to hurt. It was a very turbulent flight and late. There was little opportunity to wander the aisles. I keep trying to move my legs up and down in my seat because they were hurting. My leg continued to hurt the following day and I was not sure if it was from the jelly fish or something worse. Dr. Google suggested I might have a blood clot based on the symptoms I was exhibiting along with the contributing factors. Red area, swollen, warm to the touch, tingly toes, sore, hard area. I could barely walk folks especially when waking up to go to the washroom at 3 am. Being pregnant, flying, sitting for too long, inactivity, and taking fertility medication, plus I might be prone to clotting based on my family history were also contributing factors. So I asked L if I should go in after the weekend to my doctor and he thought I should go into Emergency immediately. So in we went and waited almost four hours. The doctor was very nice but could not make any diagnosis since the ultrasound technician was not in until the morning so we would have to come back on Sunday at 10 am. Home we went. Back in to wait longer and finally discover I have superficial clotting on my left leg. Luckily the ultrasound technician did not think I was exhibiting deep vein thrombosis but there was a risk it could develop. The doctor said I was complicated and that I had just become a high risk pregnancy. He had to consult with an OBGYN. We were prescribed lovenox, a blood thinner and I have to report back in ten days for a follow up ultrasound. It makes me nervous because I don't want to harm the baby. So far since we have been home I have not had any spotting. I was worried I would start bleeding again with this blood thinner. I'm also nervous about the baby not having a placenta yet. Lovenox does not pass through the placenta but what about prior to the placenta? I am about eight weeks pregnant. There are some internet reports in favor of lovenox during pregnancy and others that are not so favorable. Lovenox is not a fun drug my friends. I have to inject myself once a day. First off it hurts going in. Then it stings, burns, and generally aches following. It's like a wasp sting. Finally it leaves a horrific bruise at the site of injection. I have to get my blood tested now for clotting disorders. And to think I might have to take lovenox for the rest of this pregnancy and maybe a blood thinner thereafter. Oh Jesus I pray that my baby will be healthy. 

& The Excellent

• God pressed on my heart during the times I was spotting in Cuba the verse, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path." I said this verse over and over and over as I lay in bed, or on my lounge chair near the pool willing my body to stop bleeding. This has not been an easy two weeks but I am trying to trust. I am hoping and praying for a healthy baby. Despite taking a blood thinner since we have been home I have not had any spotting. That is a miracle. Thank you Jesus.

This afternoon is my first ultrasound. I am excited, nervous, terrified, hopeful. I hope beyond everything I have ever hoped for that I will hear a healthy heartbeat. 

We're Pregnant!!

Eeek! I couldn't be more excited! And nervous! And is this too good to be true?

Okay here's my crazy excited face. The above one is far too calm happy.

So I've been sitting on this for a week. I know how is that possible? I can't keep a secret at all. My first test I took at 6dpt in the evening because I thought it was likely too early to test and if it was negative there was still hope, but if it's positive how exciting would that be! L had went to work. The pharmacy is maybe 30 feet from my front door. It was inevitable. 

What if? 

This is what I saw..

Thank you Jesus!!

I waited a few days afterwards to take a second and third. Is this for real?

I told L in the morning after he worked the night shift. He had no idea what the ClearBlue HPT was and said what is this? L isn't one for surprises so I didn't plan a big reveal. He was excited nevertheless asking how am I supposed to sleep now! 

I'm terrified of losing this pregnancy. I have to convince myself not to panic on a regular basis. I have all these odd jabs, pains, sensations and to add to that secretions from the vaginal prometrium. It's enough to do me in most days. To say I'm laying low is an understatement and I'm so happy I don't have to be leading school tours of the museum or art gallery at this time. I can put my feet up at any time and take a nap. I think infertility has made me much more willing to say I'm pregnant so early, to celebrate this achievement. To bask in it. I recognize that I am not out of the woods as I am only at week 5 technically. But hey! I've been on this journey almost five years. 

On Thursday I was up by six and the first one to the diagnostic lab and the first one poked with a needle. I asked when we would find out the results and the nurse was not very sympathetic. She thought if I was lucky maybe the lab work would reach Calgary by Friday afternoon. But then L and I were driving and I saw the tell tale numbers of the Regional Fertility Program light up on my phone. Hello? Is this Rhonda? Yes. This is Dr. Fong's office. We have some good news for you!
Your pregnant!!

A big grin broke out on my face. Joy! I remembered in my excitement to ask a few questions including my HCG numbers. She said she would send a letter to my local doctor and I would follow up with him. 

She said we do not have a follow up HCG test to take. I was a little surprised as I would have been interested to see those numbers change. But it's ok. 

My next appointment is my seven week ultrasound at the end of this month. I am to continue prometrium and estrace until week 10. 

I was early on my previous calculated due date. It is January 11th.

We beat infertility! Yay!