A Goal, An Invitation Set In Motion

 

New Years is often the time when many declare their resolutions for the new year. On New Years Eve I went to bed at 11. J had other plans and woke us all up at midnight. 

And yet without fail somehow in that interlude between New Years and my birthday I begin to think of goals. Perhaps it is because my blog feed suddenly begins to fill with goals for the new year but most likely it is my birthday creeping up on me and I am becoming ancient. Birthdays have a way of making us reflect and look forward. 

On Monday it was my birthday. It wasn't a milestone birthday, just a quiet affair. As always on my birthday I had carrot cake. I am a creature of habit. L baked it for me. He's fabulous. I like to think of a new year as one that begins with my birthday. 

I began drafting a list of goals on my birthday, but it was just that a draft. In one moment I thought I should make a goal for every year of my life but I ran out of ideas that I could realistically accomplish. Life has a way of foiling with my goals. And so now as a I eat my leftover birthday carrot cake I return to that drafted list of goals for the new year. I decide I'm going to pick one out of that list and really try to make that my focus for the year. 

This one goal, what is it? Friendship. 

I am grateful for the handful of friends that have hung onto me over the years when I have moved from city to city. I enjoy reading of all the antics of my online blogging friends. Sometimes I feel a little lonely however when I hear of all the fun everyone has been having without me. I've discovered where you are you also need friends. 

I find it difficult to cultivate friendship, my fears & insecurities get in the way, and sometimes I let time and inaction stifle the flame of what might be a new friendship. Or I sabotage myself by thinking why would they want to be friends with me? And I focus on all the things I think I am not. This year when someone says we should get together I'm going to stop right there and set a date, make plans. I'm going to follow up. I'm going to invite. I'm going to invest in cultivating friendships. Lord help me with my insecurities. 

Today I had what I hope will become a good friend over and we made cookies. She is quirky, smart, and creative. It was a delightful turn of events. Last year she had also come over, I think I had ordered something from one of her home based businesses, and I had made these cookies then as a snack. She had requested the recipe and I kept meaning to send her the recipe. Time marched on and my good intentions of writing out the recipe on a cute card stood in the way. Then in a Facebook exchange I bring up that silly recipe relaying I still intend to get it to her. Recipe? Oh right, yes she would still like the recipe. And then I thought really R just text a photo of the recipe don't be so precious with making up a pretty recipe card.  She replied back maybe we should hang out sometime and make them-- "hang out and food can't go wrong."See right there...that sometime is often an opportunity I don't take. This year though sometime is my invitation to set in motion a time to get together. Friendship I've read is often the result of three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other. 

Friendship is good. It is fun. It is worth the effort. 

What has been your experience with making new friends as an adult? Any tips? 

Do you have a goal for the new year? 

A-Z Books I Read in 2016

Yay! I completed my Goodreads goal of 26 books and read 29. Haha! I know there are bloggers out there reading more than 100 books in a year and in previous years I might have read more than 29 books. But for me right now I am excited to have met this goal. Wherever you are in life, set your own goals, and don't beat yourself up or feel intimidated by others who are leapyears ahead of you. I aimed in 2016 to read through the alphabet.

I have become a huge fan of Goodreads  I have discovered some other readers and am fascinated to see what they are reading or want to read next. It is a fabulous sorce for book recommendations. I learned this morning I could sort books I read on Goodreads to various bookshelfs and then insert a widget in my blog from Goodreads that would show visually the books on that book shelf (in this instance 2016) and also each book is linked back to Goodreads. It was such a happy discovery!  I updated my Read page on my blog with this widget for both 2016 and 2015 and hope to add one for 2017 also. Adding the widget through HTML code makes me realize I'd like to learn a bit more HTML code as things tend to go a little wonky at times & it makes me realize I if I knew code how much more awesome would my blog be. Haha. Here it is below showing the books I read in 2016.

All the Light We Cannoth See by Anthony Doerr  
Big Little Lies by Liane Morianty
Chasing God by Angie Smith

Drifting House by Krys Lee 

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury 

Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee

Hokey Pokey by Jerry Spinelli 

Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker 

The Jade Peony by Wayson Choy 

July's People by Nadine Gordimer 

A Kiss for Maddalena by Christopher Castellani 

Looking for Lovely by Annie Downs

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist 

The Queen's Vow by C.W. Gortner 

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard 

Room by Emma Donoghue 

Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson 

The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

Unless by Carol Shields

The Vacationers by Emma Straub

Wild & Free by Jess Connely and Hayley Morgan

XYZ by Anna Katharine Green 

Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks 

Zoo City by Lauren Beukes 

As I neared the end in the last two weeks of December I didn't have titles for books starting with K and U in my que. I thought it would be challenging to find a book title that started with the letter U but instead K was a really difficult find. X was also really a challenge and while I found a book titled XYZ, a mystery by Anna Katharine Green published in 1923. XYZ almost felt like cheating as it was so short and could have qualified as a short story except that it did have chapters. According to Goodreads it is a novel even if there is no book cover associated with the entry. 

I really only started my challenge of reading 26 books after months had flown by and it was already mid year. I had lost the book, All the Light We Cannot See, I started at the beginning of the year and was stalled as I needed closure on that book before moving on. Finally I was able to request it and borrow it through the library.  Just last week I found the lost copy in question  looking pristine it's pages yet crisp, it's cover gleaming. It's a good thing I never waited until I found that copy or I would have never completed this reading challenge.

I love libraries. I also discovered this year my local library allows me to borrow eBooks and audiobooks from my iPad over the Internet (Hoopla & OverDrive)  from the comfort of my home. This discovery has revolutionized my ability to read and reduced my library fines significantly. I love that sometimes I can listen to a book while playing with J or doing housework where I couldn't have a book in hand before. Sometimes the individual reading the book makes the experience that much better. The narrators Fred Berman and Phoebe Strole  voices of The Time Travellers Wife for instance embodied the characters. 

Then I thought I needed to invest in my faith by reading inspiring books by Christian authors. Oh my word! There is a cult following for some of these authors and several in my estimation did not live up to the hype. It was as if they were just trying to put out a new book. Yawn. I actually scheduled how many pages a day I needed to read to finish one of the books. One I even resorted to underlining as if it were a text book as I kept getting sidetracked. Disappointing! Granted I did find two gems (One Thousand Gifts & Looking for Lovely) that made me think about faith & God and inspired me so I am glad I went on this journey. But I did give up on that list I had made for myself to read. 

Recap of what I read in 2016:

Top Books 

 

All the Light We Cannoth See by Anthony Doerr  

Looking for Lovely by Annie Downs 

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

Unless by Carol Shields

Fabulous Reads for the Beach

 

Big Little Lies by Liane Morianty 

Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard 

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

The Vacationers by Emma Straub 

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes 

Books Reviewed this Year

 

The Jade Peony by Wayson Choy (a collaboreads review here)

July's People by Nadine Gordimer (a collaboreads review here)

Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson (a collaboreads review here)

Looking for Lovely by Annie Downs (a quick mention here)

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (related mention to current happenings of my life here)

I'd Rather Have Selected A Different Book to Read For My Challenge Than This Book

 

Drifting House by Krys Lee 

Zoo City by Lauren Beukes 

Chasing God by Angie Smith (the writer's asides were so annoying!)

Wild & Free by Jess Connely and Hayley Morgan (despite all the hype I couldn't get into this book)

Hokey Pokey by Jerry Spinelli (I have mixed feelings about this book...it's weird but interesting in a hokey way)

These Endings...

 

Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks 

July's People by Nadine Gordimer 

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

The Jade Peony by Wayson Choy 

All the Light We Cannoth See by Anthony Doerr  (Overall great ending, I just wished a different fate for the one character.)

Is there one novel that you read in 2016 that you would highly recommend?

Do you finish all the books you start or do you find it easy to give up on a book if it is less than what you had hoped for? If you can abandon books do you have any criteria that helps you make this decision? 

October Goals

It's October! It's a blustery day today. I think it might snow. My trash can that L put out this morning was in the middle of the lane for cars to dodge when I went out to get it later in the morning.

I thought I would make myself a new set of goals for this month to keep motivated. I've been pinning a number of bullet journal ideas for my new bullet journal that I plan to purchase in November and I kept seeing all these level 10 life goal circles. Well I'm not ready to read the Miracle Morning yet by Hal Elrod but I like utilizing categories for goals and I realize my focus has been a little lopsided. I also liked the goal categories I saw on Elena's blog Beautiful Hope during blog-tember. 

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But before I get ahead of myself let me review last month's goals as they fit in the level 10 categorizes.

September Goals

Family & Friends

(1) Grace & Fun for In-law visit

(2) Reach out to 3 women locally 

(3) Complete thank you card mailout

Thoughts: I definitely need to improve in making friends/investing in relationships. I think I reached out to 2 women locally in September. 

I was thinking why have I been so awful at completing my thank you card mailout. I think because I really did not have a system while we were moving and now it is overwhelming. Who have I mailed? I've run out of cards. How do I get the addresses of those whose cards were returned in the mail with the wrong addresses. Gah! My address book really needs updating. I really need to comlete this once and for all in October!

Personal Development

(1) Read 6 books  

(2) Bullet journal September

(3) Complete blogtember challenge  

Thoughts: I read 5 books in September. Maybe I will almost meet my goal of 26 books this year! I blogged 24 times in 30 days. While I did not complete the challenge entirely I think that is still impressive. 

Spirituality

(1) Complete September Bible reading plan  

Thoughts: I only completed half of the month's reading. I read the book of Esther, 1st & 2nd Timothy, Psalm 119, 120 & 121. I was reading before bed but may need a different consistent time. 

Finances

(1) Shop for 2nd vehicle 

Thoughts: This may not really fit in finances except that having to replace our car after we had hail damage was unexpected. L got a sexy black pick up truck that he is pleased as punch about. Thankfully we did not have to break the bank to purchase.

Career

(1) Request reference letters  

(2) Reapply to substitute teach 

Thoughts: I totally stalled on this in September & after some thinking decided I really do not want to have J in daycare yet. I would like to wait until she is at least a year before returning to work. While I did not qualify for maternity leave, because I quit my job to go through IVF, my husband L thankfully earns a good income for me to stay at home currently.  

Marriage

Thoughts: Oh my! I do not have one goal related to marriage in September.

Fun & Recreation

(1) Find and visit pumpkin patch

Thoughts: I was so excited we found a pumpkin festival locally. It was really a local production, nothing like I anticipated seeing pictures people post of visiting a pumpkin patch with their kids, but it had local flair and was fun. I will post photos in an updated Saturday lark post in the next day or so.

Giving/Contribution

Thoughts: I could improve in this area in terms of having goals. It is a little challenging since I am not actually making an income. Perhaps I can look into other areas I can give that are not financial.

Physical Environment

(1) Organize pantry

(2) Organize Master closet

(3) Purchase Master bedroom bedding

(4) Organize/unpack books

(5) Landscape Planning

(6) Install underground sprinklers

(7) Order & lay sod

(8) Print & hang baby photos

Thoughts: Did you notice I added in organize pantry. That was a major accomplishment haha I really had too many goals in my physical environment this month. Moving is not easy. I feel like there is so much to do in my house yet. I may make my own master bedroom bedding after searching forever and really not coming up with what I am looking for. I found some options to purchase but it would be really expensive with the exchange rate. L wants to leave the landscaping until the spring so we did not make any progress in this area. I purchased 3 frames for J's baby photos and then on the drive home had a brain wave of what I want the photo arrangement to look like so now I have to make another trip back and purchase 5 more frames. 

Health & Fitness

(1) Book dentist appointments

(2) Workout 21 days in September

Thoughts: I finally made dentist appointments for us. It is challenging sometimes to find doctors, dentists when moving to a new city. I really could use a kick in the pants for not working out this month again! I did go for several hour long walks however with J in the stroller. 

October Goals

FAMILY/FRIENDS

(1) Host Thanksgiving x 2

(2) Celebrate my dad's birthday

(3) Send cards for family October birthdays

(4) Complete thank you card mailout

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

(1) Read 5 books

(2) Purchase Oatmeal Sweater & Fall Boots

(3) Make at least 10 drawings for #inktober

SPIRITUALITY

(1) Read Isaiah 1-39

(2) Put into practice what I read in One Thousand Gifts and make a gratitude list

FINANCES

(1) Revive budget from this summer & track this month

CAREER

(1) Request reference letters

MARRIAGE

(1) Think about ideas to invest in marriage other than "date nights"

FUN/RECREATION

(1) Plan some fun outings into our trip out of province later this month

GIVING/CONTRIBUTION

(1) Look to see if there is food bank locally to get involved with

PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT

(1) Hang Curtain rods in living room/kitchen

(2) Order fabric for bedding for master

(3) Organize books

(4) Measure for blinds order 

HEALTH & FITNESS

(1) Take a fitness class at local fitness centre

(2) Travel out of province for J's consult with specialist at Children's Hospital

READER RESPONSE

(1) What is one goal you are keen to knock out of the park this month and/or finally get off your to-do list?

(2) Is there one area or another that you find harder to make goals for? 

(3) What are some great marriage builders that you have utilized in your marriage? (Other than date nights because we do not have a trusted baby sitter yet.)

September Goals

I am back for Day 2 of the Blog-tember Challenge. In normal life, without this challenge to post every day in September, I would have otherwise not posted today. Today was a very trying day.
I survived.

I am impressed with everyone's goals for this month.