My heart

My heart is broken. I am conflicted. Let joy be your plumb line, pastor M prayed for me this morning, as tears streamed down my face. This is the leap that international adoption forces us to take. There are no guarantees in life I am told. I wish we could believe and have faith beyond evidence. Someday, one day maybe, hopefully. I wish I could tell you the world is a beautiful place, full of hope and promise. Tears stream down my face. My heart is broken and I wonder if I will ever be given the opportunity to wish and hope again for joy.