September

I work some days in a museum. The exhibit this fall commemorates 100 years since Great Britain declared war on Germany and starting in motion what we know today as the First World War.

It's September now. I recall last September our hopeful enthusiastic enlisting. I do not have clear answers but it appears that adoptions with Taiwan are at a stalemate and like the First World War that we hoped would be resolved by Christmas may in fact be a long drawn out four years if ever.

It's disappointing to say the least.

In a month my grandma turns 90. I had wanted her to live to see our adopted child. I sat with her in May as she lay in pain in her tiny twin bed. I told her of the adoption and she squeezed my hand and I think she was trying to tell me gently she may never see this child. Or that what I hope for is too good to be true.

It's 4 am now. I have insomnia when L is away working miles from home.

I'm looking forward to Christmas. I am to purchase tickets soon to fly before the prices are jacked up even higher for the Christmas rush. It's an atrocity really that flights within Canada less than one province away are more than flying internationally. It will be approximately $1500 to fly economy for the two of us. Despite this cost I am still anticipating traveling and seeing my family. I'm looking forward to seeing my only nephew who is quite grown now, a middle schooler, and is wise beyond his years.

L and I are going to give IVF another go. We had the swimmers frozen last week. Now I'm waiting for my cycle to arrive so I can in 12 days have blue dye injected into my Fallopian tubes.